Revisiting an article written in 2013 that was tucked away in my Google documents.
An out-of-state listener once wrote, “My marriage is lifeless and cold. Where did our passion go? We live in the same house, but we barely know each other. I love him, but I don’t like him. Divorce never crossed my mind, but now the thought is a daily struggle.”
Quoting is Not Obeying
To carry the weight of responsibility as husbands, leaders, and fathers, we must obey the word of God, not just quote it. Unmistakably, the foundation we build today provides the strength that weathers the storm tomorrow. Unfortunately, today’s society focuses primarily on external factors such as money, position, status, and recognition. These superficial values have left our nation in a moral and spiritual crisis.
We’ve become a society focused on prosperity rather than provision, we value wealth rather than wisdom, and we are drawn to charisma rather than character. Our foundation as a nation and as individuals has slowly deteriorated, but it can be changed if we once again obey God’s Word and follow His principles.
The Desperate Need for Men … Real Men
We are in desperate need of genuine leadership — broken, humble men — men who are not afraid to admit that they need God; men who are more worried about prayer than about status and recognition; men who petition God rather than position themselves. The state of the family today is disheartening.
Men have largely forsaken their God-given role as spiritual leaders in their homes…that, no one can deny. Many know more about their favorite athletes than they do about their wives and children. They’d rather be seen leaving a bar than leaving a church.
Men, you’re not called to be a passive, weak, indecisive partner — you’re called to protect, lead, and guard your family. Real men initiate prayer, defend our wives, shepherd our children, and make our home a holy sanctuary not a breeding ground for Satan.
You’re Called to Fight, Not Flee
Men, you’re called to fight the enemy, not flee from him. I’m tired of weak, passive men who never contend, stand, or fight for anything worth dying for. Our nation is looking for character, our wives are looking for leaders, and our kids are looking for fathers. Men, stop the silly video games, minimize time on Facebook, kill your porn habit, and tell your ungodly friends to hit the road.
You’re called to lead, love, and if necessary, die for your family. We are the reason that the nation is deteriorating. We are the reason the family is breaking down. We must stop blaming everything from God to the government. Men…wake up! As A.W. Tozer declared, “Life is a battleground, not a playground !”
Am I Being Too Hard?
I can hear it now, “Shane, you’re being too hard on the guys.” Really? In my opinion, most men do not need to be encouraged and coddled in their sin; they need to be confronted and challenged. We have enough fluff in our pulpits; now is the time for fire.
One problem in the American church is that we always encourage but rarely challenge; coddle but do not confront; laugh but seldom weep. An African pastor was asked, “Why is there so much counseling in the American church but not in the African church?” His answer was correct, “In America, you counsel. In Africa, we repent.” Repentance brings hope.
The Truth Hurts but Leads to Healing
Many years ago, I stumbled across a journal entry written by my wife that broke my heart, but first, I felt betrayed and angry. She wrote, “I married a man who doesn’t care about my dreams and goals in life. I’ve learned to live with this since separation isn’t an option, but I will not allow him to do this to our kids.”
I was furious because the truth hurts. But I began to realize that she was absolutely correct. I was a controlling man with no regard for my family’s dreams, ambitions, and goals. Granted, I was not mean-spirited about their dreams, but I was controlling. I’m embarrassed that I used to think things like, “That’s stupid, immature, and ridiculous; why would you want to do that?” I felt terrible and asked for forgiveness. I realized that I was breaking the spirit of my family; controlling and manipulating because of pride, and how things would make me look.
We All Need a Turning Point
That experience was a turning point — I now encourage my family rather than discourage their dreams. I’m writing this to illustrate the fact that God often uses confrontation and exposure to break us.
While dads jockey for position, build reputations, chase careers, and so on, it is often mothers who pray, nurture, care for, and lead. Granted, there are men who, through no fault of their own, experience failure in their home, but for the large majority, there is a critical need for spiritual leadership. Repentance is the first step. Knowledge is knowing that we need to repent, but wisdom is repenting.
The power of the word of God is found in its application. James 1:22 reminds us that we can deceive ourselves if we “know” what to do but fail to do it. Are you living in deception … knowing but not doing? You can change that today. Let this be your turning point: Repent to be refreshed and obey God to be renewed.
